Folks often ask me if Covert-Aggressive personalities (manipulators) and other disturbed characters really understand themselves or know what they’re doing.  I always reply that most of the time, such personalities know exactly who they are and what they’re up to.  This is something others find very hard to believe.  But to illustrate the point, I thought I’d reproduce a portion of an article I wrote about a year ago... 

Recently, someone introduced me to the US TV series Dexter, based on the novels of the same title. It’s about a psychopath (alt: sociopath) who works as a forensic scientist analyzing blood splatter patterns for a police department. The series has won several awards and garnered unusual viewer support for an independently-produced drama series. The main character, Dexter, is an intriguing study. He is no doubt a psychopath, and he is... 

Manipulative people have always been with us.  Manipulation is a timeless problem, but it has also been increasing in prevalence over the years.  Many years ago, I started taking note of a certain kind of personality.  These people could be quite charming and appear benign but also could engage in some of the most ruthless, underhanded behavior.  They knew how to get the better of people.  Their victims were frequently caught unaware.... 

I get mail from readers of my first book In Sheep’s Clothing several times a week.  The comments are frequently quite similar but every now and then one stands out and inspires me to continue the work I’ve done for many years.  Recently, someone wrote: Dear Dr. Simon, I just finished reading your book, In Sheep’s Clothing. No words can express the gratitude that I have for this obvious manifestation of your love and... 

On one of the international blog sites that features my work, a woman commented: I have only recently realized that my elderly father is a covert-aggressive personality.  I spent so many years hating myself and feeling that others didn’t like me, including family members.  Knowing how I’d been duped has been a really hard realization to come to.  I always thought I had the “Leave it to Beaver life” yet I was... 

I recently received a note from a woman we’ll call “Dorothy” who found various blog posts I’ve written on disturbed characters helpful to her as she tried to understand a destructive relationship.  She wrote: Dear Dr.Simon, Thank you for your blog articles on Disturbed Characters. I just got out of a relationship with someone who I believe to have a character disorder. Often he would play the victim in everything... 

Recently, I received a question from a young woman that typifies similar questions I’ve been asked over the years.  I posted my answer on one of the international blogs featuring my work.  Here’s the post, including the question and my answer: I am a 21-year-old female, and I have a 19-year-old boyfriend. We have been together a little over 7 months. We are also in a long-distance relationship at the moment until he can get... 

This article is part of a series of articles the thinking patterns common to individuals with disturbed or disordered characters (see “What Were They Thinking?” and “What Were They Thinking - Pt. 2″).  We’ve already discussed Egocentric Thinking.  The next distorted thinking pattern we’ll be talking about is possessive thinking. Disordered characters tend to view those that they have any kind of relationship... 

As I described in my last post (see “What Were They Thinking? - Part 2”), persons with disturbed characters don’t act the way we do largely because they don’t think the way we do.   Stanton Samenow was among the early researchers to catalog the distorted thinking patterns or “errors in thinking” which some of the most severely disturbed characters (those with criminal records) display. Over the years, I’ve adapted and modified... 

One of the central tenets of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is that there is an inextricable relationship between a person’s core beliefs, the attitudes those beliefs have engendered, and the ways the person’s attitudes prompt him or her to to behave in various situations. Each element of the triad of thinking patterns-attitudes-behaviors generally has a reinforcing effect on the others and contributes greatly to an individual’s...