Whether you’re seeking help for yourself as the victim or survivor of an abusive relationship, or trying to get some assistance in dealing with a character-impaired individual, getting the right kind of help can be a real challenge.

True “acting out” is the expression through actions of an emotional conflict a person can’t consciously own. Unfortunately, these days, even professionals erroneously use the term to describe all sorts of misbehavior. But most of the time, “acting-up” is NOT acting-out.

Harboring antiquated notions about who they are and how they got to be that way is exactly what leads people to get into relationships with narcissists, despite warning signs, and to remain in those relationships despite suffering emotional abuse and neglect at their hands.

Who we really are and what determines our real worth has less to do with what we’ve been endowed with and much more to do with what we’ve done with what we’ve been given.

When the person in a relationship with you has a full blown Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder (PAPD), life with them can be a real nightmare. Why? Because it’s so hard to simply disengage with them when they’re doing their negativistic, whining, petulant, and vacillating “thing.” Tell them to simply go and do the shopping they said they really needed to do instead of whining that you’d rather go out to dinner and they’ll immediately retort that you just don’t want to be with them. Tell them that you’d love to have dinner if that’s what they’d prefer and they can do the shopping later and they’ll complain that you’re just saying that to make them feel better. There is never any “win” with them – only negativistic, vacillating, entanglements. You want to stay out of the traps, but they’re so easy to get into and awfully hard to get out of.