On one of the international blog sites that features my work, a woman commented: I have only recently realized that my elderly father is a covert-aggressive personality.  I spent so many years hating myself and feeling that others didn’t like me, including family members.  Knowing how I’d been duped has been a really hard realization to come to.  I always thought I had the “Leave it to Beaver life” yet I was... 

Recently, I received a question from a young woman that typifies similar questions I’ve been asked over the years.  I posted my answer on one of the international blogs featuring my work.  Here’s the post, including the question and my answer: I am a 21-year-old female, and I have a 19-year-old boyfriend. We have been together a little over 7 months. We are also in a long-distance relationship at the moment until he can get... 

I’ve been posting a series of articles on the types of distorted thinking patterns or “thinking errors” individuals who have significant disturbances of character often exhibit.  We’re nearing the conclusion of this series, which has featured a fair number of the more common problematic thinking patterns including: unreasonable thinking, egocentric thinking, external thinking, hard-luck thinking, egomaniacal thinking, hedonistic... 

My recent posts have addressed several of the erroneous or distorted ways that disordered characters tend to think.  The “thinking errors” disturbed characters engage in lead to the formation of irresponsible and antisocial attitudes which in turn lead to behaviors that cause problems in relationships with others.  Some of the topics we’ve already discussed in this series of posts include the tendency of disordered characters... 

I’ve been posting on the topic of character disturbance not only on this blog, but on other international blogs.  Readers from across the globe have offered several intriguing comments and questions. Because I think a robust discussion on this topic is so important, I’d like to address some of the issues raised in this post. One comment I was particularly struck by was from Sarah: “Freud’s was the dominant form of thinking and... 

The disturbed character is forever trying to trivialize important matters.  He tries to convince folks that the wrongful thing he did wasn’t really that bad or harmful.  He might admit part of what he did wrong, but usually not the most serious part.  Disordered characters use the tactic of minimizing to manage the impression others have of them.  It’s a way to manipulate others into thinking they’re not so bad despite... 

In prior posts, I’ve written about some of the major differences between neurotic personalities and disordered characters (they differ on such major issues as anxiety, shame, guilt, and conscience).  You can read more of these comparisons as part of a series I’m doing for another blog.  That series began with a post that pointed out the failure of traditional psychology to provide an accurate framework for understanding... 

The “problems” neurotics experience often stem from emotional conflicts that rage deep within their unconscious minds.  They’re typically unaware of what’s at the root of the “symptoms” they report.  If a woman already knew that the unexplained funk she’d been in lately was related to her suppressed feelings of grief and loss that just happened to be re-surfacing on the “anniversary” of her mother’s... 

Disordered characters don’t feel shame like neurotics do.  Although pop psychology has given shame a bad name, the ability to feel it is a mark of good character.  I wrote recently about how neurotic individuals and disturbed characters differ greatly on the issue of guilt.  Guilt and shame are related.  Guilt is the bad feeling we get about something we’ve done.  Shame feeling badly about who we are.  It’s when... 

People often get manipulated because they misjudge the character of their manipulator.  We have a tendency to want to see everyone else as basically pretty much like us.  We want to think that they think the same way, care about the same things, and feel the same way we do.  But individuals with disturbed characters are very different from most people, especially those who tend to be neurotic.    In prior posts, I’ve highlighted...