Covert-Aggressive Personalities are the archetypal wolves in sheep’s clothing that I introduced in my first book, In Sheep’s Clothing [Amazon-US | Amazon-UK]. These individuals are not openly aggressive in their interpersonal style. In fact, they do their best to keep their aggressive intentions and behaviors carefully masked. They can often appear quite charming and amiable, but underneath their civil façade they are just as ruthless... 

I’ve been posting a series of articles on the “aggressive personalities.” This group of individuals is among the most seriously disordered in character of all the various personality types. Despite the fact that official diagnostic literature neither recognizes the inordinate predisposition for aggression as the core problem for such personalities nor recognizes the distinct differences between aggressive personality types, I have... 

These days one hears and reads a lot about sociopaths or psychopaths.  The main reasons for this are that there appears to be somewhat of an increase in the prevalence of this very disturbing personality disorder and interest in such problem characters has grown in recent years.  Yet there are some misconceptions that persist not only about the disorder itself but also about the meaning of the terms used to describe it.  Further, there... 

As I have indicated in a prior post, Lying is one of the many tactics by which a person avoids taking responsibility for behavior while simultaneously attempting to manipulate or manage the impression of others.  It’s one of the most common, habitual tactics used by individuals with a disorder or disturbance of character.   In my prior posts, I’ve talked about what my experience working with disturbed characters has taught... 

When you confront a manipulator or any disturbed character about their behavior, they will often attempt to sidestep the issue or to avoid the subject altogether.  They want to keep the spotlight off their problematic behaviors.  They also don’t want their true character to be exposed or to be put on the spot (i.e. caught momentarily without a good offensive strategy for taking advantage of another).  So, they are quick to dodge... 

Manipulators and other disturbed characters sometimes like to openly threaten or brow-beat someone else into giving-up or giving-in to their demands.   They like to terrorize others into submission.  They use fear as a weapon, whether it’s fear of the known or unknown.  People in relationships with disturbed characters are generally familiar with their track record of behavior, thus they know what the disturbed character is not... 

The most severely disordered characters will often make direct threats or even carry them out as a way of keeping others in line.  Skilled manipulators, however, are expert at making more subtle, implied or veiled threats to intimidate others into seeing or doing things their way.  Sometimes a veiled threat can be no more than a particular “look” or a glance.  Sometimes it’s imbedded not so much in what someone says or... 

The disturbed character is forever trying to trivialize important matters.  He tries to convince folks that the wrongful thing he did wasn’t really that bad or harmful.  He might admit part of what he did wrong, but usually not the most serious part.  Disordered characters use the tactic of minimizing to manage the impression others have of them.  It’s a way to manipulate others into thinking they’re not so bad despite... 

Disordered characters are forever blaming their misbehavior on someone or something else, and skilled manipulators can make you think that somehow it’s your fault that they did whatever they did to hurt you.  Confront them on how hurtful it was that they cheated on you and they will blame your lack of attentiveness, your failure to be avaiable and responsive whenever they felt in the mood, etc.  Confront them on their lack of... 

Manipulators always have an answer for the hurtful things they do.  No matter what you confront them about, they’ll offer an excuse that seems to justify their behavior.  When manipulators rationalize, it’s not the same as when a person of generally good conscience tries to assuage that conscience by finding reasons to think what they did wasn’t really that bad when they’ve done something wrong.  Rather, when...