Like many, I was touched by the heartwarming story of  a man with a God-given talent and a budding career, who lost himself, his family, and fortune to a life on the streets from chronic substance abuse and found new hope during the Christmas holidays. Videos of Ted Williams panhandling on the streets by giving passers-by a snapshot of his meant-for-the-media golden voice went viral over the internet and eventually resulted in him being re-discovered and offered some amazing opportunities to put his talent to good use once again and rebuild his life.  Within days, this man went from literally being on the streets to appearing on news programs, talk shows, and using his vocal talents once again in recording rooms.  Within just a few more days, however, it was being reported that he had “relapsed” from his purported (but doubtfully accurate) two-year sobriety, had some renewed run-ins with the law, and was self-admittedly behaviorally out of control once again.  As a result, he has again entered a treatment program.

There are many issues that this case brings to the fore, some of which are addressed in both my books, In Sheep’s Clothing and Character Disturbance. The most important issues are those related to shame, self-esteem, and the necessary ingredients for real character change.

Mr. Williams gave many interviews when his situation was first exposed. Initially, he was quite clear about what he believed “saved” him from the life of faded glory, broken dreams, and despair he had been living.  His testimony resonated with thousands of similar reports I’ve come across in my years of work with individuals who have struggled with character issues and eventually managed to make the commitment necessary to forge a better sense of self.  But as I studied the interviews more closely, certain troubling things began to become apparent.   For one thing, I noticed the message “I have a God-given talent” on the sign Ted had hung around his neck.  I also notice the extent to which the media folks interviewing him seemed to be constantly falling all over themselves to draw attention to this talent and to heap adulation upon him merely for possessing it.  At first, Mr. Williams seemed a bit uncomfortable if not embarrassed by this attention.  He also admitted that although he has always known he was blessed with a natural gift, he didn’t always honor it and was ashamed that he took it for granted and defaulted on the values instilled in him as a child for the sake of a quick high.  Over time, however, he appeared to become more comfortable with the attention and recognition given this talent, even to the point of reveling in it.   Also, his interviewers appeared very uncomfortable about the attributions Williams consistently made not only about reasons for his fall from grace but also the cause of his recent good fortune.  He initially credited a higher power for saving him from the brink of despair and bringing new opportunities into the life he had been struggling to repair.  He also credited his his sense of shame for what he had let himself become for enabling him to finally find the strength to turn things around.  The interviewers, however, seemed much more comfortable with the notion that he had merely fallen on hard times, was the victim of addiction, and was saved by the miracle of the internet and the resulting goodwill of others who, impressed with Williams’ talent, were willing to give him a new chance to put it to work.  The message they seemed to be sending was that the only thing that had previously stood between Ted and rehabilitation was the opportunity that had now come in the form of a great big Christmas present.

The testimony of thousands of once-struggling characters with whom I have worked over the years who eventually found the keys to change their lives for the better prompted me to address the issue of shame and its role in character formation in my first book and to my best to further expand upon the topic in my new book.  Shame can indeed be a powerful motivator, though it’s not politically correct these days to assert this.  And the whole notion that character deficiencies can be the impetus for people to let their lives sink into a well of depravity and addiction (and make it more difficult for them to extricate themselves from addictions’s grip) also flies in the face of conventional professional wisdom.  Most importantly, Mr. William’s story of how he let his God-given talent go to his head is a testament to the difference between self-esteem and self-respect and how attributions made to an individual that rightfully belong to God or nature can lead to a dangerously distorted sense of self-worth (see article on  The Ten Commandments of Character that pertains to self-esteem and self-respect).

Like many, I wish Mr. Williams success in his recovery efforts.  While there’s no guarantee he’s advanced far enough in his personal development to resist the temptation to “relapse,” from time to time,  in his heart he knows the truths of his ordeal and what he has to do to stay the course. He also knows the value of the opportunity and support that has come his way.  Perhaps he will even remain more humble about the gift he has and to cultivate a deeper sense of obligation to treasure and use it more respectfully than he has in the past. Unfortunately, sincerity of heart is sufficient to overcome a long history of maladaptive behavior,  so getting and keeping his life in order will require a steadfast commitment and persistent practice. Some may worry that if his addiction gets the better of him, he will necessarily spiral down into despair from renewed shame and self-condemnation. And while that’s indeed a possibility, I prefer to hold the same humble hope in which Ted initially appeared to abide.  If he believes a power greater than himself is at work in his life, first allowing him to stray to the very brink and then showing him the path of rescue him from it and blessing him with new opportunity. People who have such humility and faith can make believers out of others, he probably has a good chance at recovery.  What happened to him over the holidays might indeed have been a genuine Christmas miracle.  But perhaps he gave the rest of us an even greater holiday gift through his testimony about the eternal truths that can lead to miraculous changes in a person’s life.