Tag Archives: aggression

Managing Anger and Aggression

Anger is a widely misunderstood emotion. Some have maligned it as an evil in itself. But it’s one of our most basic emotions. Nature put it there for good reason. We become riled to mobilize ourselves into action to remove a threat to our welfare. But just as being too frequently or intensely anxious can be problematic, being chronically or excessively angry can also cause trouble.

Command 8: Fighting Fairly and Rightly

Over the years I’ve counseled many individuals whose life became a shipwreck because they never gained mastery over their aggression. Sometimes they were overt about it. Other times, they were covert in their aggression (for manipulative purposes). Either way, they made a mess of their relationships and brought untold pain into the lives of many. For these individuals, acquiring the controls necessary to assert as opposed to aggress was truly the task of a lifetime.

Externalizing Blame Can Have Deadly Consequences

The tragedy we witnessed two days ago is an old, old story becoming far too commonplace in our character-deficient age. We live in a complicated, demanding world and there are too many among us who never developed the character resources to deal adaptively with life’s challenges – especially failure – and to profit from their experiences, including their disappointments. It’s far too easy to just point a finger. And sadly, for too many, it’s easier still to place that same finger on a trigger and shoot.

Aggression and Covert-Aggression

Covert-aggression is a particularly insidious type of fighting. That’s because victims of it can have a lot of understandable difficulty recognizing it in the first place and then defending themselves against it once they sense it. Being the victim of covert-aggression can make you feel crazy. In your gut, you think someone’s trying to get the better of you or abuse you in some way, but you can’t point to anything clear and obvious to back up your hunch. And it’s also like getting whiplash: You don’t really realize what’s happened to you until after damage has already been done.

Narcissists Hate It When You Have Their Number

Narcissists hate to think anyone “has their number,” so to speak. People who always see themselves as superior to others hate to see the field of “play” (i.e. social interaction) leveled. They especially hate it when someone else in is a position of greater power or authority.

“Bored” Teens with Murder on their Minds

To simply blame guns and to not be outraged by the mindset (e.g., entitlement, no empathy, mindless sensation-seeking, disregard for the value of life) that prompted the senseless murder of an innocent tourist is not only the epitome of denial but a stark reflection of our society’s seemingly steadfast refusal to reckon with the defining social issue of our times.

Powers To Be Reckoned With: The Channeled Aggressors

We all know people who seem to want everyone to know they are a power to be reckoned with — folks with little regard for anyone they perceive to be less tenacious and goal-driven as they are, There’s something about such people that goes beyond healthy assertiveness. And living or working with them can be a truly stressful experience.

Antisocial Personalities: The Unbridled Aggressive Pattern

Unbridled aggressive personalities frequently find themselves in conflict with the the law, commit criminal acts, and spend much of their lives incarcerated.