For sadists, making someone else grovel is not only the major way they secure a position of dominance in their relationships but also an activity they truly enjoy.
Your book helped me understand why I am such an “approval junkie,” how I got manipulated, why I always hated confrontation, and why I had so little confidence and self-respect.
Disturbed characters think there’s nothing worse than admitting a mistake, backing down, or giving-in because it makes them look inadequate or “weak.”
One reason people get manipulated is because commonly accepted psychological principles about why people do the things they do actually set a person up to be victimized!
Manipulators and other disturbed characters sometimes like to openly threaten or brow-beat someone else into giving-up or giving-in to their demands. They like to terrorize others into submission.
Skilled manipulators are expert at making more subtle, implied or veiled threats to intimidate others into seeing or doing things their way. Sometimes it can be no more than a particular “look” or a glance.
Disordered characters use the tactic of minimizing to manage the impression others have of them. It’s a way to manipulate others into thinking they’re not so bad despite the horrible things they’ve done.
Disordered characters are forever blaming their misbehavior on someone or something else, and skilled manipulators can make you think that somehow it’s your fault that they did whatever they did to hurt you.
The “problems” neurotics experience often stem from emotional conflicts that rage deep within their unconscious minds. They’re typically unaware of what’s at the root of the “symptoms” they report. If a woman already knew that the unexplained funk she’d been in lately was related to her suppressed feelings of grief and loss that just happened to be … Continue reading Neurotic or Character Disorder? Criterion 5 Awareness
People often get manipulated because they misjudge the character of their manipulator. We have a tendency to want to see everyone else as basically pretty much like us. We want to think that they think the same way, care about the same things, and feel the same way we do. But individuals with disturbed characters … Continue reading Neurotic vs. Character Disorder? Criterion Three – Guilt